I am not afraid to admit that I’m a little bit stubborn, in fact, I’m really bloody stubborn. It’s no surprise that after marrying a stubborn man (yes we bicker(& yep, we sometimes full blown row), but who wants a boring yes man?! Not me, thank you please), we seem to have created something beyond stubborn. Something called Barry. I know everyone says two year olds are stubborn but, I’m sure, if there was a stubborn-off, Barry would win hands down. Unlike reaching milestones, I’m not sure an outstanding level of stubbornness is something to feel secretly (or overtly, if you are one of those bloody braggy annoying mums) proud about.
I’ve read a lot about two year old behaviour (articles, blogs, books) in the hope of overcoming the stubbornness, not for an easy life or anything, I’m not that naive, but just to bloody get out the house in less than 3 f’in hours (for example) would be a Brucey bonus. Anyway, I have reached the following conclusion from my research which, I think you’ll agree, is pretty ground-breaking and will hopefully change a lot of people’s lives:
NO-ONE HAS A FUCKING CLUE
I thought I’d share a few of the things I’ve tried, feel free to try them, then you can share the fun times. You never know, it might work for you, after all I have the stubbornness champion (not that I’m bragging).
One book says (I won’t name it but the title includes a word that rhymes with lame and that you’d associate with a lion not a human), not to argue or fight with your toddler, it takes two to tango. Fine, this requires minimum effort, I’ll give this a go, I thought. Needless to say it had reached 12pm, Barry was running around starkus, having not cleaned his teeth, had a wash, eaten any breakfast or made a play date but instead he’d ripped two of his books whilst throwing them all off his bookshelf, played “bish bash bosh” with his baby sister (where do they even learn those words let alone violent actions – it’s not on ice age is it? Peppa pig? Must be some unnamed naughty shit from nursery that gets blamed for all not nice behaviour that is obviously not the result of any parenting of mine, no sirry Bob) and made his mummy fail miserably in her act of being completely okay with the whole ‘no fight’ situation. Thanks lion man, this ain’t fucking working for me unless I want to raise feral brute children who never leave the house and smell of shite.
Another one said, give your toddler options which are all acceptable to you when asking them to do something. Great, sounds good, a toddler does love to be in control particularly a stubbornness champ. Here goes:
“So Barry would you like to clean your teeth in mummy and Daddy’s bathroom or the other bathroom”,
“no neither”. [Ffs, Barry that is not a fucking option…..]
So, in conclusion, put another bottle of sauvignon in the fridge…