I managed to get both babies out of the house and on the way to the park by 10ish yesterday. Well done me. Then they both fell asleep in the pushchair on the way there, expected for Edith but Barry – really, all that effort for fucking nothing. I can’t help feel a little bit of disappointment when they fall asleep unexpectedly so you can’t use the time doing something useful like housework (or actually just sitting on your arse having a hot coffee and some unshared food). Miraculously, I made it to Waitrose and even managed to sit and drink my free coffee and eat a cake without Barry waking up!?! Whoopey de doo dah! Halfway through my pain au chocolat, a couple (I want to say grandparent age but that can be anything over 25 so I’d say they were probably in their sixties) came over:
“your children are so good, we like quiet children”.
“Thank you” [hiding my wtf face and not saying “you obviously don’t have any, that’s such a bloody deluded thing to say”,
and after responding when they ask how old they are]
“oh no terrible twos for you then”. [sarcastic smile and somehow I manage not to say “he’s asleep you fucking numpties, are you bloody stupid, you should have seen him this morning when he was screaming and kicking me because I tried, god forbid, to clean his teeth and wash his face, now piss off and let me finish my cake – I’m on borrowed time!”]
I’m not from the school of thought that children should be seen and not heard, in fact, as you may have guessed from the rant above, that school of thought royally pisses me off. Isn’t the joy of children the fact that, for the most part, they don’t have the inhibitions that society and age puts on you. I think it’s bloody brilliant that I can skip down the street with my two year old singing (him not me, I’m tone deaf so it’s more like shouting) “skip to the loo, skip to the loo my darling”. If I did this on my own, like we might occasionally have the urge to do (or is that just me?!), people would think I was a right honey nut loop. I’m all for manners but when else can you roar like a t-Rex, run around until you are so dizzy you fall over, sing silly songs really loudly, run around naked or piss your pants without being judged?