Back to reality and nursery (woohoo sorry boohoo)

So we made it back without too much stress and, despite having a lovely time, I think we were definitely ready for home. I’m not sure who was more excited me, about wearing some clothes cleaned in a washing machine (without a slight aroma of sick) rather than in a bath or Hector, about being able to mow the lawn (wtf?!).  I do wonder if his enjoyment from this ‘chore’ is because it’s like man cave time. The noise of the machine means he can legitimately pretend he can’t hear me when I ask him to do something like hold a baby while I butter toast (still struggle to do that one-handed) or wipe a two year old’s bottom (possible whilst holding a baby but easier without).

I think Barry felt the crash back to normality yesterday morning when offered a breakfast of weetabix and honey or hoops/loops (btw, I said I would never give my children sugary cereals but then I had children. I realised a huge bowl of hoopy loopies is better than a violent screaming 2 year old eating no breakfast and I concluded that milk teeth are going to fall out anyway).kelloggs-honeyloops2

I would like to say I’m the kinda mum who’d enjoy nothing more than to replicate his holiday breakfast buff-ett choices by making 6 fresh mini light pancakes drizzled with grecofarm honey, 3 soft and chewy waffles and a succulent exotic fruit arrangement washed down with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice (M&S – I am open to offers to do your voiceovers) but I have got much more important shit to do in a morning ………….. like pick cradle cap flakes out of Edith’s hair (would vacuuming it be unacceptable because it’s takes feckin ages and still looks like she’s fallen in puff pastry?) or sponge toothpaste (or is it snot?) off my shoulder with a wetwipe because I can’t be arsed to change my top again.

[On a  sidenote, if I was trying to be the kinda mum mentioned above I’d be buggered if BBC goes ahead with its plan to delete 11,000 recipes  – I love their recipes – they have absolutely everything you could ever dream of making and with simple instructions – don’t do it BBC – noooooo!  Some people have advised that you take screenshots to save ALL of your favourite recipes before it happens….hmm, I don’t think these “people” have children….and if they do they’re probably the type to be cooking them fresh fucking waffles every morning without needing a bloody recipe anyway. Losers.]

We briefly considered not sending Barry to nursery yesterday. When I say “briefly” I mean the length of time it took my brain to compute my Dad saying “you’re not going to send him tomorrow are you, he’ll be really tired” and me replying “we’ll see how he is”.  In other words, yes we bloody are, we’ve had him for two weeks 24/7 and although he’s awesome and has been well behaved (apart from the times when he’s been a complete little shit), I need a bloody break, oh and it’s good for him to get back into his routine, socialise (ie. not throw sand in people’s faces like on holiday) blah de blah…& the other more socially acceptable reasons for him still going to nursery while I’m on Mat leave.

Of course it has been strange not having Barry around over the last two days after the holiday and I have really missed him.  I’m looking forward to spending the next couple of days trying to entertain him, I wonder if I can avoid softplay despite the forecasted rain…hmmm.



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